Change
by TheGamergirl97
Summary: (Kyman) Everyone in South Park has expectations. Everyone lives by those expectations even without realizing it. Kyle Broflovski knows very well that he follows these expectations and he believes he has no choice but to follow them. But things happen and people are beginning to change, even his perspectives on people he thought he knew.
1. Chapter 1

Change

Chapter 1- Expectations

Expectations, everyone expects something from you wither it be your attitude or the actions you do. Everyone expects you to do something that they see fit to you. People just see you and think of everything you're meant to do or that you have to do it because it's you. And because of those expectations you have to live up to them just to please the other party. And after living up to what is expected from you everyone starts to believe that's who you are but are we happy with living up to what other people expect you to be?

I on the other hand have no choice but to live up to what is expected of me. I have to in order to make my mother happy. To me my mother's happiness is to the upmost importance even though her happiness has ups and downs to my life. Even though I am risking my happiness by living what is expected of me, I am still pleasing my mother and making her happy. It doesn't matter if I'm happy or not because I have a fat bastard that reminds me every day that I don't deserve to be happy.

Honestly I don't give a damn what he has to say to me. I have survived his bullshit for years since I was eight so everything he says to me should just come in one ear and out the other. But for my lack of ignoring what he says to me, I still give him the satisfactory of pissing me off every day of my life. Also for my stubborn personality and being as naïve as I am I must keep my dumb ass pride with me. And keep up what is expected from me in this damn mountain town called South Park.

South Park is just a quiet little mountain town. Or so people think. This town isn't the happy loving quiet mountain town people want it to be. It has its sins. More than once has this town almost been destroyed, and anything but normal happens here. More fucked up shit has happened here than anywhere else I believe. But here people still live up to what is expected of them. Nothing has changed and nothing new has happened. It's just South Park.

I am Kyle James Broflovski, age 15. I attend South Park High and it's my first year here. To me it is just another school that's going to be full of drama, and since high school is a major part of a Teenagers life and since its South Park the drama is not just going to affect the high school students but the whole damn town. That's one of the problems of this damn town. If one person knows the whole town knows. If a rumor starts here, in less than 24 hours it's already spread throughout the whole town.

Personally I think of High school as another stepping stone toward living our life as the way we want to. That may be true but even then we must keep up our image and live to what is expected from us. I see nothing wrong with people wanting to live that kind of lifestyle but I also have to stop and question it. Do we have to live to what others expect of us or can we just change that act? Can we just stop and go our own way of life just like that? I just can't seem to wrap my brain on the concept. But maybe that's just of what is expected of me.

My friends here at South Park haven't really changed since Elementary School. Now that I think about it, nothing has changed here in South Park. Maybe a family will move out and a new one in, and maybe babies are born or someone has died but other than that nothing is different.

Stan Marsh has always been my best friend since we were in preschool, and we still are. Stan has joined the football team and has been since middle school. He still dates Wendy Testaburger and she is still on the cheerleader squad. I believe Stan told me he joined the football team just so he can see Wendy more, not like he does that during class or anything.

Kenny Christopher McCornMick is still the same as before. He chases around girls and is obsessed with Sex and boobies and dies every once in a while. Lately he has wanted to get into Bebe's pants. Sure she's a pretty girl but I just don't see what he sees in her. He probably just sees her boobs and that's it. But of course if he didn't he wouldn't be the same old Kenny.

And as for the fat ass in our group, he is not my friend, nor will he ever be. Eric Theodore Cartman is still the fucking fat bastard that I despise. I don't know much of what he has been doing in his life but I doubt he has changed. He still lives up to his expectation of being the conniving Nazi asshole that practically feeds off of the suffering of others. Sometimes I question my sanity as to how I put up with his bullshit every single day of my life. I even question if he even has the human capability to have feelings. I know he has hate but I think that's the only emotion his chubby body can handle. Over the years Cartman has slimmed down a little so I guess he isn't as overweight as he was when he was just a kid. He is still is bigger than us but maybe that's all muscle now instead of fat.

I still live up to my mother's expectations and try to be a good Son so I can be to make her happy. She wants me to be just like my father and be a lawyer, get married to a nice Jewish girl, have 2 kids and live a happy normal Jewish life just like she and my Father did. I'm not too keen on her vision of my life. But that's what is expected of me. Sometimes I wonder if I even have a choice.

When I was 10 I decided to start taking care of my hair and get it cut. I've been cutting it on my own so I can keep it at a certain length so that it's controllable and presentable. If my mother ever found out I cut my hair she's have a cow and probably hide all the scissors in the house so I wouldn't be able to cut my hair. I only cut it because I was tired of Stan always pestering me to get it fixed. He even tried to cut it in my sleep. So I decided to fix it myself. It's better if I do it rather than let Stan take care of it for me. I can't help but think I only live to please others. That's just of what is expected of Kyle Broflovski though, isn't it?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Differences

Every day is the same, every route is the same, and every daily routine is the same. Nothing changes in my life nor do the people here in South Park. And here I am walking down the same path down toward the same bus stop. Today is probably going to be the same as it's always going to be. Insults being thrown one after another, drama with my friends making tension grow a little between each individual. And one way or another I will always be wishing I was never born. But that of course is what is expected from me.

I take my usual spot by the bus stop waiting to be greeted by the boys who wait there for me. It is expected for all of them to do. Somehow I feel like today isn't going to be as bad as the years before hand. Maybe it's because it's the first day of High school. I mentally sigh to myself.

"Hey guys."

Stan looks over at me and a small smile washes up on his face.

"Hey Kyle."

"Well I guess the Jew's here. Quick everyone hide your lunch money."

I glare at the abomination known as Cartman standing next to me. I really don't understand how he manages to piss me off this early in the morning but I decide not to even acknowledge the fact he even insulted me. That last thing I need is to be pissed off in the morning.

"Is something wrong Stan? You don't seem like yourself today?"

Cartman snorts as he figures out that I completely ignored what he said before hand.

"Oh my god, you guys are so gay. Why don't you guys just get a room and fuck each other if you're going to be fags."

He gives me a mocking grin as I turn back to glare at him.

"Shut the fuck up fat ass! Just because I am concerned for Stan doesn't mean we are gay! I'm just his best friend!"

"Oh come on Kahl can't you just take a joke? You really need to get that sand out of your vagina."

I can feel my rage building up.

"I DON'T HAVE SAND IN MY VAGINA!"

"Oh, so you admit you DO have a vagina Kahl?"

Cartman crosses his arms over his chest giving a grin for he is pleased that he has managed to piss me off.

"What! NO! I don't have a vagina!"

I'm just to the point where I want to leap at this asshole and just beat the shit out of him when a hand lands on my shoulder. I turn to see a very weary Stan.

"Come on Kyle, it's too early in the morning to start a fight with this asshole. Save it for later."

I sigh, he is right. Getting mad would just show that Cartman won the 'Make Kyle blow up before school' battle. I should be less worried about what Cartman has to say and focus on the task of the day: Survive the first day of high school.

"Stan is there something wrong? Does it deal with Wendy?"

Stan cringes visibly at the sound of Wendy's name. They probably broke up for the one billionth time again. I sigh

"What happened? Did you guys break up?"

Stan doesn't say anything; he just slowly nods his head.

"Stan I really don't understand why you even bother with that bitch. She does this all the time! She breaks up with you and then you go crawling back to her kissing her feet. And then you guys get back together again and then you break up. You're in a loop. Might as well tell that bitch to get bent and move on."

Stan glares at Cartman.

"Oh, like I should be taking advice from a fat fuck like you Cartman? You've never even been on a date. You'd probably sit on her and kill her if you even got a chance to have sex with her!"

"Ay! I'm not fat I'm Buff!"

Stan's words came out like poison. I understand what Cartman is saying that eventually Wendy will come back to him, but I also understand why wouldn't want advice from Cartman. Anything he says will just lead to him feeding off your despair. But just what Stan told me not to do he is doing it anyway.

"Stan, calm down. Wendy will come back you see. Just don't let Cartman piss you off okay?"

I put my hand on his shoulder to try to comfort him like he did me but it doesn't seem to have the same effect on him as it does to me. He is still giving Cartman glares. He probably wants to beat the shit out of Cartman. I would gladly let him but today is different.

"Yeah Stan your boyfriend is right calm down. Your bitch will return to you, pussy."

I'm about ready to punch Cartman in the face when a familiar voice came from behind us.

"Hey, guys what up?"

We all turn to see Kenny walking up to us. Lucky for us his hood doesn't suffocate his voice as much as it did back then.

"Oh these two are fags together nothing new."

I can literally feel my rage getting to the point I melt the snow around me.

"FOR THE LAST TIME FAT ASS WE ARE NOT A GAY COUPLE!"

Cartman snorts "Could have fooled me Jew."

The school bus for South Park high pulls up, to my relief. I just want to get this day over and done with. As we get on the bus I get ready to take my seat next to Stan but Kenny beats me to it. It's not a big deal to me. Maybe Stan can talk to Kenny about his Wendy problem. I take and empty seat on the bus and stare out the window. The same scenery of South Park passes by as the bus starts moving.

Why can't Cartman just keep his mouth shut for just one second? It's not like he needed to make that statement toward Stan and his relationship. He doesn't even know about being in a relationship. Well I guess I don't either but I am sure I'd be better help than Cartman.

The bus comes to a stop at a stop light and I can't help but notice to boys in the window of their house. They are getting very intimidate with each other. I'm just glad someone is enjoying their self this morning. I can't help be memorized as I watch the two boys continue to have sex. I wonder if it does feel good or if it hurts. I lick my lips at the thought.

"What the fuck Jew?"

I jump at the voice. I turn my head to see Cartman sitting in my seat looking at me very confused. Did he see what I did? When did he sit next to me? Was he watching me the whole time? Does he know what I was looking at? I hope not. The best thing to do is act dumb.

"What? What did I do?"

I try to keep my voice at a normal level.

"You were staring in that house at those two boys. Then you licked your lips. By what I saw I would say you were enjoying watching them fuck."

Fuck he was watching me, freak.

"I was? I was just lost in thought and my lips were chapped and dry so I guessed I licked them out of habit."

God I hope he takes that lie. He just shrugs and looks away from me.

"Whatever Jew, I still think that's what you were doing."

He's a very persistent bastard. But I decide it's no big deal and go back to staring out the window. Maybe we won't think anything of it.

Because I decided to sit in the very back of the bus I have to wait for everyone to leave the bus before I can even get off myself. Cartman finally decides to get out of his seat and slowly walks out of the bus just to piss me off. He does this all the time I shouldn't really expect anything different.

Once we make it out of the bus Cartman looks at me and grins at me.

"What fat ass?"

He chuckles "You didn't deny when I said that you liked watching those two guys fuck each other."

And with that he headed toward the school building.

Shit did I really not deny it? Why didn't I? Maybe I am gay, that would explain a lot of things then. Wait FUCK that means Cartman knows. This is just my day isn't' it? Well at least I understand why I don't find girls attractive. And why I don't like girls that way. This is going to be an interesting school year.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Questions

So far I've been lucky since this morning when Cartman said I didn't deny that I liked those two guys screwing around earlier, he hasn't made any attempts to spread any rumors around about me being gay or even told anyone that I was looking at two guys having sex. Then again if he did tell anyone they would think he's full of shit and believe he is just trying to start stuff again like he always does. Truly I'm just worried about what he is going to do with that kind of information.

I sigh and stare at the clock; the bell for lunch should ring anytime soon, I'm tired of being in Geometry. The teacher is nice and all but she is TOO nice. None of the kids in our class are paying attention. The only thing good about this class is that my friends are in here with me. 'Ding' As soon as that bell rung I rush over to Stan so that way we could walk down to lunch together.

"Stan lets go get lunch I'm starving."

Stan smiles at me but his eyes are on Wendy

"Yea Kyle sure…"

I follow Stan out of the class room and into the hallway.

"Dude, your still bummed out because of Wendy aren't you?"

Stan doesn't respond instead he just lets out a big sigh.

"Stan, you can't let one girl rule your life. I know you care very much for her and would do anything for her but, trust me; she will come back to you. You just got to not let it get to you so much."

We enter the lunchroom and stand in line for our food.

"Look Kyle, I know that you're trying to help me but I love Wendy. I really do. It's just that this time I don't know what I did wrong. And I understand what you're saying Kyle, thanks."

We grab our lunch trays and paid the lunch lady. I saw red out of the corner of my eye and knew who it was. Cartman was already sitting at a table with Kenny sitting across from him. Stan and I decide to walk over there and take our seats. Stan quickly takes a seat next to Kenny practically forcing me to sit next to the fat ass. I take my seat without a word of complaint and began to eat the sandwich on my tray. Kenny and Stan automatically begin to discuss about Stan's relationship with Wendy.

"Stan, don't let her get you down. There are plenty fish in the sea. Trust me I know."

Kenny, you wouldn't understand because you don't love the girls you fuck. You love their body."

"It's still a type of love Stan."

I continue to eat my sandwich as I listen to the conversation. Out of my corner of my eye I can see Cartman sitting quietly and eating his food. I am a little surprised Cartman hasn't butted in Stan and Kenny's conversation about relationships. Or maybe he just cares more about his food than anything else right now. Or maybe he is plotting a way to embarrass me because of what happened on the bus this morning. Oh god I hope to god it's not that.

"Hey hate to interrupt you two gay wads but I just thought Kenny should know that Bebe is over there."

Cartman interrupts and points behind Kenny and Stan at Bebe.

"Sweet dude. Sorry Stan but let's finish that conversation some other time."

Kenny jumps out of his seat and heads toward Bebe with the biggest grin on his face.

Stan sighs of relief.

"I was tired of hearing him say how he knows so much about love when he has never even been in love anyway. So thanks Cartman for pointing Bebe out."

Cartman huffs in annoyance.

"I didn't do it for you hippie. I did it for me because I was tired of hearing you guys talk about that pussy shit."

"Sure Cartman whatever."

"I don't understand what you see in that bitch anyway Stan. If you ask me she is nothing to fight over."

"You're just saying that because you don't like her Fat ass."

"Well, if you're THAT desperate to get that bitch back why don't you go talk to her at her lunch table?"

Cartman takes a drink of his milk as he finishes.

"Actually I will Cartman. Thanks for the advice fat ass. Not like I needed it."

Stan sits up from his seat and begins to walk toward Wendy's table when I stop him.

"W-wait Stan, You're not just going to get up and leave me ALONE with the Fat ass here are you?"

Stan turns back to look at me then at Cartman.

"You could come with me."

I look at Wendy's table to see Bebe, Kenny, Craig, Clyde, Token, and Butters sitting at the table. Honestly Craig hates my guts for some odd reason and I don't want to get in a fight with him and Bebe and Kenny could make out any second now also I don't want to just leave Cartman to sit and eat lunch alone he might be filling out a plan to completely ruin me for this morning. I look back at Stan.

"No thanks Stan, don't you remember that Craig wants my head for some reason?"

Stan nods his head.

"Oh yea right. Sorry Kyle guess you will just have to survive on your own then. I promise I will make it up to you."

And with that he turns around and heads toward Wendy.

I sigh; he always does this to me. Leaving me to suck up to Wendy, I'm not complaining or anything I'm just really happy he has something in his life that makes him happy. Sometimes I wish I had something or someone to make me happy, but I know for a fact I am not destined to be happy as long as the fat ass tails behind me, mocking me of everything I know and love.

"So Jew now that we are alone, what kinds of men do you like?"

My mind jumps out of my thoughts and into reality.

"What?"

Cartman sighs.

"What kinds of men do you like Jew? Don't make me repeat myself."

"Why do you want to know? "

"Just curious, you gay for anybody at the school?"

"Just Shut up Fat ass."

"Ay! I am not fat obviously!"

"Then just shut your damn mouth!"

"Jew, calm your perky tits. If you're worried that someone will hear us just get the sand out of your vagina."

"For the last time Cartman I do not have a vagina."

"Then just fucking tell me Jew!"

"Why should I tell you anything? More importantly why do you want to know fat ass?"

Why does Cartman want to know oh so badly about my sexuality and what type of guy I like and who I might like. What is it to him? He is probably trying to get all the information out of me just to use it in one of his damn schemes.

"Why the fuck should I tell you my reason you good for nothing Jew-rat? Just tell me!"

Like always Cartman avoids my question. Right now I just really want to punch him in the face. I can tell that the kids in the lunch room are starting to take notice of us ranting at one another

"No Fat ass not in a million years."

He grunts very impatiently.

"You don't even know do you?"

"I am not telling you anything."

Cartman gives off a grin.

"But by not telling me anything you're telling me something Jew. And by something I mean that you don't have an answer for me. Jew you are very readable."

I punch him in the arm.

"OW! What the fuck Jew?! What was that for?!"

"For being an asshole and putting your nose where it doesn't belong!"

Luckily the bell to end lunch rings before Cartman can yell at me back and I quickly throw my trey away and walk down to my next class. Cartman is following me behind.

"What do you want from me Cartman?"

He walks faster so that he is walking right next to me.

"What's your next class?"

"Why do you care?"

"Just answer the fucking question Jew."

I grunt aggravated. Why can't he just leave me alone?

"History"

"Mine two."

Of course he has class with me, like this day could get any better with his random questions about my sexuality. We walk into the class room and take our seats. Cartman takes a seat next to me and gives me a devilishly grin. I just want him to leave me alone. I really need time to think to myself. Hopefully this week will be gone before I know it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- Answers

God has blessed me these past two weeks, Cartman never spoke about my sexuality. It's still been the same old Jew this and Fat ass that. And to my surprise he hasn't' said anything about me to anyone other than his regular Jew comments. Lately though, I have been troubled by my own sexuality, I honestly don't know what to think. I do know that I need to talk to someone about it, someone who could give me an honest answer because they understand. Mr. Mackey I could talk to since he transferred to high school to be the counselor here, I used to go to him when I had a problem but I'm not sure he'd be a good choice of person to discuss this with. I would talk to Chef but he's been dead for a while so he is decently out of the picture unless I bring him back from the dead. But now that I think about it the only person that could possibly help me is Mr. Garrison, he had problems along the way about wanting to be a woman but decided he wanted to be a man, plus he IS gay so he could possibly help me.

I am sitting in my final class of the day, English. I really like English class but for some reason today I am just not interested. I look out the window and watch cars and people walk by. Snow is covering the ground like always but what catches my eye is something red rushing across the parking lot. It's Cartman skipping school again, like always, I don't understand how he hasn't been caught with that red jacket of his. He sticks out like a sore thumb. I look around the room to see if anyone else has noticed, to my surprise no one has noticed, not even the teacher noticed, He is too busy reading out a passage in our literature book while most of our students in the class were actually reading it or just drawing on a piece of scrap paper.

I can't be the ONLY one to notice Cartman skipping school can I? Or maybe I'm just paranoid, there has got to be someone who noticed right? I turn around and looked at the people behind me, Clyde was texting. Bebe was fixing her hair and messing with her boobs, Craig was asleep, Token was paying attention to class and so was Wendy, Tweak was drinking coffee while drawing on a piece of paper, and Stan was staring off into space watching Wendy with a sad look on his face while Kenny watched Bebe. Guess I am the only one who noticed.

I sigh and lay my head on my arms on my desk and watched as Cartman left the school grounds. I can't help but wonder where exactly he goes when he skips, there isn't really much to do in this quiet little mountain town, in my opinion its boring here. The only thing entertaining around here is the drama that happens at school and the arguments I have with Cartman. Not that I find arguing with him entertaining I just find it amusing how dumb he can be.

The bell has finally rung as I stretch from sitting in the same seat for about an hour and thirty minutes. I grab my things and stick them in my backpack and hull it over my shoulder. Before I leave the class room Stan blocks my path.

"Hey Kyle, since its Friday do you want to spend the night at my house?"

I would gladly say yes but I need to talk to Mr. Garrison about my problem. I need to get answers and to get this fog cleared from my mind. I smile at Stan.

"I'd love to Stan but I have something really important to take care of today. Maybe sometime next week or maybe even Saturday?"

"Oh, sorry dude didn't know you were busy. And Saturday I'm going to a party at Babe's place. If you come with me then maybe we could leave after we are done and spend the night at my house. So are you coming to the party?"

"Stan, you know I am not into that kind of stuff and besides if my mother found out she'd kill me."

Stan lets out a sad sigh.

"Okay fine dude. Whatever you say guess I will see you later bye."

Stan turns on his heel and heads down the hall.

I walked out of the class room and headed down the hall. I never was interested in these parties everyone has been having lately, I am more concerned of my grades in school and pleasing my mother than attending these parties. Even if I did go to a party I wouldn't have any fun. I open the front doors of the school and casually head down the side walk. I still need to talk to Mr. Garrison; hopefully he will be able to shine some light on my situation.

I reach Mr. Garrisons house in no time. It's not like he loves far away, this is still a small town after all. I take a deep breath in and knock on the front door. I can hear Mr. Garrison say "Now who could that be?" as he approached the door. He is probably going to be surprised to see me here wanting his advice. The door swings open and Mr. Garrison stood in the door way looking at me very surprised.

"Kyle? What are you doing here? Is there something you need?"

Mr. Garrison gestured for me to enter his house which I gladly walk into his house. His house seemed normal like most houses in South Park, nothing changed. We both decide to take a seat on Mr. Garrison's love seat as he asked his question from earlier again.

"Kyle is there something wrong? What can I do for you Kyle? What is it you need from your old Teacher?"

I fidget around in my seat and take a big breath before answering.

"Well Mr. Garrison, I was wondering, how do you know if your gay? Or like men in general?"

I could tell Mr. Garrison was taken from my answer. All I could think to do was look back at Mr. Garrison with pleading eyes. I just got to make sure I am not jumping into conclusions. Mr. Garrison takes a long deep breath before responding to my question.

"Oh geez. I knew that somebody was going to ask me that sooner or later but I am a bit surprised though. I never thought it would be one of my own students to ask me such a question. "

He stands up and starts heading toward his kitchen.

"I'm going to make us some tea so maybe it won't be so awkward, please excuse me Kyle I will be right back."

I watch as Mr. Garrison retreats to the Kitchen to make some tea or whatever. Honestly I would have been perfectly fine with water but I could tell Mr. Garrison needed more time to think about what he was going to say to me in order for me to understand. I lean back against the couch wear I silently stare up at the ceiling. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea as I hoped it would be. I know I can trust Mr. Garrison and his judgment of me but maybe he just doesn't know how to approach this kind of subject with one of his old students. Out of the corner of my eye I look out the window to see people casually walk by like normal. I mean that is what is expected here. Everyone here in my opinion are just mindless beings following these expectations that everyone has for each individual, playing their "role" or "part" in the world without even thinking of changing and doing things what they want to do and what they expect themselves to do instead of following what everyone else expects them to be.

Mr. Garrison come back with some hot tea and lays them on the table in front of me. I quietly say "Thank you" as lean over to grab my cup of tea. Mr. Garrison takes a seat next to me and takes a sip of his before setting it down. He sighs and I can tell that he is preparing what he is going to say to me.

"Okay Kyle, first off I want to know why you want to know about how you know if your gay or not."

I take a sip of my tea and set back on the table. I knew that Mr. Garrison would ask me that, honestly I really don't want to answer but I need my answers. I turn so that I am facing him and take in a deep breath.

"Well Mr. Garrison, first off I would like to point out that I never found girls interesting in the least let alone want to get with her or sleep with her in anyway, it kind of freaks me out. And I find it a little disturbing when a girl wants to touch me like that. And Mr. Garrison I saw two other boys one day in their house and through the window I could see them having sex, I couldn't help but watch and I liked watching them, I enjoyed watching them. I even had thoughts about what it would feel like if I were to be in that situation with another guy or even like another guy."

Mr. Garrison nods in understanding as I continue to speak.

"I have been avoiding this lately Mr. Garrison but I feel like this piece of information could help you. I find guys attractive but lately I have been attracted to some of my closest friends, I don't like them or anything like that I just find them nice to look at, you know? "

I look down at my lap to let Mr. Garrison know that I have finished. He closes his eyes and puts his hand on his chin. I can tell that he is really thinking and taking in what I said to him.

"Well Kyle that is a good understanding why you think you are gay."

I look back up at him as he speaks.

"I had the same problem too Kyle. I didn't like girls that way and I found men to be very alluring."

Mr. Garrison opens his eyes and looks at me. He takes his hand and places it on my shoulder.

"Maybe Kyle there is a slight chance that you are confused in a way, but given the situation that you find girls to be disturbing sometimes gives me the idea that you come off gay in a way. So maybe Kyle what you need is to experience being gay with someone if you know what I mean, and if you don't want to do that you could do some research online and get to work in that area. Do you understand what I mean?"

I couldn't' help but just stare at him and turn a little red. He meant have sex with a guy! I think that's going a little overboard but hearing it from one of your old teachers just makes it embarrassing. But I do understand his point. I will probably go home and do some "research" for my benefit.

"Thank you Mr. Garrison I understand. I'm glad I came to you for help."

I smile and He returns the smile kindly.

"No problem Kyle. I'm always here if you need any help okay."

I get up from the couch and head toward the door. My fog in my mind hasn't been fully cleared yet but, it was nice to get that off my chest. I am just glad that I got some answers. I just hope that my Mother will never find out. She'd kill me, revive me then kill me again and again.

"Bye, Mr. Garrison thanks for shining some light on me."

Mr. Garrison walks up to the door to lead me out.

"It's no problem Kyle. Glad to help."

He opened the door to his house and I walked out into the cold and headed down the snow covered sidewalk toward my house. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Maybe now I will find my answers I have been looking for.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Conflicts

Walking from Mr. Garrison's house to mine isn't a long walk, so I take my time. Honestly I am not too thrilled to be going back home, I try my best to stay away from my house as much as I can possible. Slowly I start to see my house in view and the voices of my parents yelling at each other. I really don't want to be here but if I don't my mother will have a cow if I don't come home on time, not that I am already about thirty minutes late. I sigh as I reach my doorstep and casually open the door to my house when my mother sees me.

"KYLE! WHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE YOU! YOU ARE LATE MISTER!" She comes closer to me, her face filled with anger.

"Look mom, I wanted to talk to one of my teachers to see if I could get more extra credit, not that I really need it I just thought it would bring me closer to being a lawyer like you want me to be" I lied.

"Oh, Well Kyle, you should have called me." She smiles as I can see my dad entering the living room from the kitchen.

"Shelia stop forcing our son to be a lawyer! What if that isn't what he wants but what you want?"

"Kyle WILL be a lawyer Gerald! I am concerned for his future! I want Kyle to be successful! Unlike his father!" She turns away from me to yell at my dad.

"Oh my- really Shelia!? What about what he wants!?"

"Ike right now is going to graduate from college to be a lawyer Gerald! Kyle will be like Ike!"

They continue to rant on while I retreat to my room. Ike went to college really early because he is some prodigy and is really smart. Because of that my mother is often comparing him to me. He is the little brother and I am the older brother, I can't help but hate Ike for being…well Ike. I am just tired of being compared to him and always hearing my mother praise him all the time. It makes me depressed, and I think my father noticed and started to talk to my mother but it always ends up in a fight.

I sigh and enter my room, same as always except I removed all of my posters, I drop my back pack near my desk and grab my laptop. I wander if anyone is online right now. I need a distraction from my parents right now. I flip the laptop open and turn it on. I can still hear my parents yelling from down stairs.

"YOU DON'T KNOW NOTHING GERALD. I WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR OUR SON AND BEING A LAWYER IS WHAT HE NEEDS!"

"NO SHELIA! WHAT IF KYLE DOESN'T WANT OR NEED TO BE A LAWYER! WHAT IF HE WANTS TO BE SOMETHING ELSE!?"

"HE CAN'T BE ANYTHING ELSE! HE MUST BE A LAWYER!"

"MUST BE A LAWYER?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HE IS OUR SON! NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN CONTROL!"

"OH! AND YOU MUST KNOW A LOT ABOUT CONTROL GERALD! YOU CAN'T EVEN CONTROL YOURSELF!"

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?"

"YOU KNOW WELL OF WHAT THAT MEANS GERALD!"

My laptop finally finishes loading and I check to see if anyone is online. I look on my friends list and see no one is online. They must be at that party. As I am about to close my laptop I get a message on it. I am glad someone decided to stay home instead of go to that party. I look to see who it is and to my dismay it's Cartman. Great out of all the people in South Park it just had to be him. I look to see what he messaged me.

"**What up Jew?"**

I would have thought Cartman of all people would be at this party.

"**What do you want fat ass? I thought you would have been at that party?"**

He doesn't waste time and responds.

"**Yea I know right! I am missing free food and there probably is alcohol there to! But I decided not to go because that party wouldn't be able to handle my awesomeness"**

I roll my eyes at the screen.

"**Whatever your fat ass wouldn't be able to fit through the doorway."**

"**HEY I AM NOT FAT I AM BUFF!"**

"**Sure, whatever."**

Then I remembered him leaving school today. Maybe if I ask he will tell me? No, not likely but I could give it a try.

"**Hey fat ass I was wondering. Where do you go when you skip school all the time?"**

"**Why do you want to know Jew? You stock me or something?"**

I roll my eyes at his comment.

"**NO Fat ass, I saw you skipping today and I can't help but wonder what you do in this town. There is nothing exciting here to do so I can't help but think where you go."**

"**How did you see me Jew? I was totally oblivious to everyone."**

"**I saw the color red from my window. You can guess the rest."**

"**No one else saw me so...why didn't you tell on me Jew-rat?"**

I stare at his response. Why didn't I tell? I could have gotten him in trouble but I didn't, I just let it pass. It was probably because even if I did tell he would still do it anyway.

"**You would have continued doing it anyway."**

"**Good point Jew."**

"**So where do you go?"**

"**Wouldn't you like to know?"**

"**Would you just tell me fat ass."**

"**No"**

"**Ok fine whatever not like I care."**

"**But Kahl, you do care."**

"**No I don't"**

"**Ok fine. Whatever you say Jew"**

I was about down talking to Cartman, I didn't want to deal with him any longer but then he messaged me again.

"**So why did you go talk to Mr. Garrison today?"**

What!? How did he know?

"**Who is the stocker now?"**

"**Calm down Jew. It's just a question. You really need to get the sand out of your vagina."**

"**I DON'T HAVE A VAGINA CARTMAN!"**

"**Come on Jew just answer the question."**

"**No!"**

"**God damn it answer the god damn question you fucking Kike!"**

"**Don't call me that!"**

"**KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE KIKE!"**

"**Shut up fat ass!"**

"**You really need a better insult Kahl"**

"**And you really need to lost weight"**

I glance at the clock on my computer and it reads 10: 30. Jesus Christ have I really been talking to Cartman for that long?

"**Cartman I have to go I need to get…some stuff done."**

"**Whatever Jew I was done talking to you anyway."**

"**Whatever Cartman."**

"**Night Jew."**

"**Night Fat ass"**

After that was done with I signed off my chat box and decided to a little "research" like Mr. Garrison said to do. I don't know what good this will do for me but it couldn't hurt to look right? I go to Google and search for some gay porn stuff and turn my volume on my computer down so that my parents won't hear it. I click on the first link and go to the most popular videos section. I scroll down the video names, what catches my eye is a video with two boys, one is buff looking and the other is smaller than the other. Out of curiosity I click it and begin watching.

The bigger male is rough with the smaller one. The smaller guy takes it and screams in pleasure. I can feel my cock twitch each time the bigger boy deals pain to the other boy wile roughly pounding into him. I can't help but get turned on by this. Without thinking I reach into my pants and begin rubbing myself. Just the way the bigger male talks to the smaller one and how he is so rough makes me hot under my skin. Close to the end of the video I can feel myself getting close so I move my hand faster and harder. After the video ended I reach my climax and make a mess of my pants.

After that experience I take off my clothes and put on my pajamas along with a new pair of underwear. I lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling. That settles everything, I am gay, and I found out that I have a very odd fetish. I glance at the clock and it reads 1:45. I guess Mr. Garrison's "Research" theory work pretty well. No more confusion about my sexuality, I am gay, and there is no going back. I turn to lie on my side and slowly close my eyes and let sleep drift over my body.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- My Sanctuary

I woke up the next morning to the screaming voices of my parents down stairs. Blinking my eyes open I turn my head ad glance at the clock, 6:30. Today was like any Saturday morning for me, my parents have been fighting for about 4 years now so when I was 11 they started fighting, I have gotten used to it over the years. Recently my mother has been comparing me to Ike a lot; I really hate it when I am compared to my little brother. I get really pissed off because he is the little brother who already is in college yet he is supposed to me in middle school and here I am the older brother just starting high school. That just pisses me off.

I haven't seen Ike since he went off to college and that was about when our parents starting fighting. I can't help but think Ike went just to get away from our parents, I would. But I know that isn't ever going to happen because my mother expects me to be a good boy and do everything she tells me to do even if I really don't want to do it. That is just her expectations of me. It's everyone's expectation for me to be a successful, good, obedient child. It's human nature to follow those expectations but lately I am not sure it's what I want. I mean I do want to go to college and be successful but I don't want to have to follow what everyone has laid out for me.

"Bubbie! Time to get up! Breakfast is ready!"

I come out of my thoughts and back to reality, I decide to get up and get dressed. I roll off my bed and head toward my closet and open it to search for some clean clothes, my wardrobe hasn't really changed much since I was 9 other than a few different colored shirts. I deiced to wear a green sweat shirt and skinny blue jeans; I reach for my hat but stop before my hand touches it. Maybe I shouldn't wear it today. My hair isn't like it was back in elementary school; I cut it down to size where it looks pretty decent and not a fro. I feel pretty confident today and it not like I'm going anywhere so it should be safe to leave it off for now.

As I leave my bed room and walk down my stairs I can still hear my parents bickering. Sometimes I wish they would just stop and get along like they used to. I feel like I'm always in the dark when it comes to my parents problems and arguments even though I have a pretty good idea of what its about, I tend to try to stay out of it. I don't want to cause any more trouble in this house than there already is.

"Gerald its 6 in the morning and you still manage to piss me off!"

"Well Shelia if I didn't have to sleep on the fucking couch last night maybe I WOULD BE MORE POLITE IN THE MORNING!"

"Gerald! Watch your tone! It's to early in the morning to deal with this!"

"But late at night is okay with you!? You yelled at me all night! I bet you kept Kyle up all night!"

"I wasn't the one yelling all night you were Gerald so it would be your fault Kyle doesn't get any sleep! He needs to get all the sleep he needs if he is going to be successful like his younger brother Ike."

I turn the corner of the stairs to see my parents at the kitchen table. Still yelling and going at it again. When will they stop this?

"Shelia, you need to stop comparing Kyle to Ike! Kyle will be successful I promise you but Ike and Kyle are two very different people, you can't just expect them to do the same thing in life and want the same thing as you want them to. They are their own independent beings!"

"Gerald they are my children and I will have them do what is best for them and this family!"

"Sheila you got to think about what THEY want not what you want!"

"What they want is what I want!"

My mother turns around and notices me standing in the kitchen behind her just watching their fight.

"Right Kyle?"

She always does this to me. Use's me to get her way in an argument. She knows I won't disagree with her….even though I do. She knows I won't say no. This is just her way of using me. I hate it. I lower my head and stare at the kitchen floor.

"Yes mom. Your right..."

I'm so pathetic…

My mother smiles at me and turns back to Gerald.

"See Gerald I told you. Now Kyle your food is on the table. Sit down and eat."

Of course I obey and sit in between my mother and father. My father looks very disappointed in me. He always looks disappointed now days.

"Kyle, you don't always have to agree with your mother. You do have a choice you know."

I don't respond, I just take a bite of my cereal and don't even look at him. I don't want to see the disappointment in his eyes.

"Gerald, quit making Kyle discouraged. He knows what he wants. And that is to be like Ike!"

I nearly drop my spoon when she mentions me being like Ike.

"Sheila you don't know that!"

"Gerald, your being a child. Of course Kyle wants to be like his younger brother Ike. Ike is so smart and he is going to make a wonderful lawyer one day."

Stop comparing me to my little brother mom.

"Sheila you only say that because YOU want Kyle to be like Ike!"

"So what Gerald? I want out son to be as smart as he is and successful and not a shame to this family."

"Who said she was a shame to this family? Kyle is a bright young boy! He is going at his own pace!"

"I'm just saying Gerald I want Kyle to be IKE!"

I can't take anymore. I get up from my seat and begin to head toward the front door.

"Were do you think you're going Kyle? You haven't even finished your breakfast. And you weren't excused from the table young man. Come back here and sit down like a good boy."

I stopped in front of the door and turned around and stared my mother in the eyes. I could feel my anger rising. I just want her to stop comparing me.

"That's it Kyle. Your brother Ike wouldn't dare leave the table without being excused."

"Mom, I'm not hungry. May I please be excused? I need some fresh air. I'm…not feeling too well."

I just want to get away from her, from this house, from this family. I need to get away and calm down.

"No Bubbie. Come back and finish your breakfast."

Without thinking I grab my coat and head out the door anyway. I'm sorry mom but I need to get away from you.

"KYLE! LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER AND GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT! YOUR BROTHER IKE WOULD NEVER-"

"SHEILA STOP THIS ALREADY QUIT COMPARING THEM!"

"I WILL COMPARE THEM IF I WANT! THEY ARE MY CHILDREN AFTER ALL!"

"CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO THIS FAMILY?"

I started to walk away from my house and their voices faded as I walked further. Slowly my walking became a fast walk then a jog, a run, and before I know it I was sprinting. I don't know where I was going but I was going where my legs were taking me.

I can't handle my parents fighting anymore. But I have to live though it, I have to fight it. I know my Dad is just trying to help me but by arguing with mom he's not going to get anywhere. Everyone knows how headstrong she can be, like that time here she blamed Canada for me using curse words then making us go to war with them. She takes things too far.

I can feel the cold getting to my ears as I run. I should have worn my hat. It's the only thing that makes me feel safe in the world anymore. I finally make a stop before I run out of breath. I don't recognize where I am. I take a good look around my surroundings. I'm in an open clearing in the woods and no one seems to be around. By the looks of it barely anyone comes here.

I make myself comfortable and lie down in the middle of the clearing and stare up at the sky as snow falls down on my face. This has a real nice soothing feel to it. I have decided to make this my "private sanctuary" for when I need to calm down. I could get used to this, just relaxing.

I close my eyes and just listen to the trees rustling in the wind. This is what I need to do every day. Is just get away from everything is and just lie here. My mind slowly darkens as I begin to drift off to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7-Don't Know Me

My body is so limp and cold, and I can hear someone's foots steps. Please whoever you are just leave me alone. I open my eyes and my vision is blurry all I can make out it a blurry figure above me and everything is white. I must been out here for a while, my mother is probably furious with me, barging out like that and disobeying her orders. I really am a no good son. I'm sure everyone would be better off without me, it's not like I really matter to anyone right?

I can feel my eye lids begin to close as the figure picks me up and carries me away. The cold blistering wind moves through my hair making it move gracefully in the wind. Where's my hat? The thought struck me light a bolt of lightning as I remember that I decided to leave it in my bedroom. I'm so stupid, my hat could have saved me a lot less pain from the chilling air.

I can feel exhaustion sweep through my body as my eyes begin to close again. No I have to stay awake! I'm being carried off by someone and I don't know who it is! I attempted to move my arms and push my abductor away and hopefully he would let me go and just leave me here, but sadly my arms barley made him even move. I silently grunt in annoyance.

"It's ok Kyle; I'm going to take you somewhere warm."

His voice his kind and soft, very familiar to me, how does he know who I am? Who is he? How do I know his voice? Where is he taking me? My eyes close and my vision fades.

"Wow, you must be really tired dude. Your smart Kyle but, you're really dumb too."

I know that voice, where have I heard it? Why do I feel safe? Maybe it's because I know his voice but I can't seem to remember. My hearing is too muffled to make it clear. Damn this cold, everything turns black and I fall back into a deep sleep. I must be really tired, tired of all this bullshit going on, literally.

"What the Hell! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

My hearing begins to tune back into reality as I feel some warmth swarm my body.

"What does it look like? I'm inviting myself in."

"That's not what I meant; I mean the fucking dead weight you brought into my house!"

I start to finally be able to move my fingers and toes.

"Kyle isn't dead weight he's a light weight, and I brought him here because I found him not far from my house all frozen!"

"Then get him the fuck out of here and take him to his gay ass hippie boyfriend, KENNY!"

So that's why he seemed so familiar, it was Kenny all along, he took me away. And by guessing who the other person, I'd say he brought me to the one and only saddest son of a birch racist Nazi Cartman, he brought me to Cartman house, out of all the people in South Park it just HAD to be HIM! Why can't I ever get a break from HIM!

"Because Dipshit I did! And no one was home!"

"Then take his gay Jewish ass out of my house and back to his damned Jew family!"

I slowly blink my eyes open to see a familiar ass hole, Cartman, sitting next to me on his couch, arguing with Kenny.

"Well now you've done it Fat-ass! You woke him up!"

I turn my drowsy gaze toward Kenny who is standing by the door smiling his chester cat smile as he walks up to me and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Good morning sleeping beauty~ how are you Kyle"

I smile at his awkward friendliness towards me.

"I'm fine, thanks. How exactly did I end up at the fat-ass's place?"

Kenny's grin widens as he spoke.

"I carried you off like a princess, me as your prince~"

Kenny's hand cups my chin and I knock it off playfully, I can see Cartman watching us from the corner of my eye.

"Sorry Kenny but you're not my 'Knight in shining armor'. And I'm not your princess or a girl as a matter of fact. Last time I checked I had a dick."

"Well that never stopped me."

"Kenny jokes playfully, stoking my cheek, before taking a seat on the floor."

"You two are so fucking gay."

I glare over to Cartman, he just smirks at me.

"So Jew now that you're all better, Get the FUCK out of my house!"

He glares at me with his chocolate brown eyes, I always thought his eyes were pretty…I could get lost in them..GAH! WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?! Stop it Kyle this is CARTMAN for fucking sake! But before I could even stop myself my lips moved on there own.

"You have pretty eyes you know…"

I stop breathing for what seems like forever. WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT!? I must be wanting a death wish!

I must have looked confused because Cartman was giving me the same look I was giving him. His eyes showed confusion but they also looked angry, same with his face.

"The fuck you say Jew?"

I panicked.

"N-nothing! Forget it Fat-ass."

Out of the corner of my eye I can see Kenny smiling widely at me and Cartman.

"Well Cartman, I guess Kyle here thinks you have pretty eyes~ Isn't that nice? Well it must be the frostbite getting to his brain, Don't you agree Kyle~?"

"Oh..um..yeah! I wouldn't EVER say that to you Cartman, it's..um..probably the cold getting to me, I mean I have been out for a while so yea-"

I casually shrug my shoulders and look away from Cartman and his eyes. I need to remind myself to thank Kenny later.

Silence fills the room and its begun to get a little awkward after what I said to Cartman. What the fuck is wrong with me? Cartman breaks the silence with a sigh and looks at me.

"Why the fuck did you 'freeze your gay Jew ass self outside?"

I turn and look at him confused acting like I didn't hear him.

"What?"

"What did you fucking freeze yourself?! God Jew, listen when people are talking to you! I've froze myself before and that was terrible. So what the fuck is up with you Jew-rat?!"

Cartman yells at me getting irritated with me.

"Why do you want to know Fat-ass?"

I couldn't help but taunt him with my question.

"Don't answer my question with another question JEW! Answer the god damn question you fucking Jew!"

"Why should I?"

He snorts at my question.

"It must be pretty fucking bad if you're not willing to tell me Jew."

Now he's taunting me the way he does, smirking his smirk and crossing his arms at me, it pisses me off when he does that.

"Pfft whatever Cartman, you just want to use my sorrow to your advantage; so that you can use it against me and make me even more miserable!"

He glares at me.

"You don't know that Jew."

"Whatever, you do it all the time! I know you, your always planning something! Heck, you're probably planning something as we speak!"

Cartman becomes even more angrier, his eyes are burning a hole on my fore head. He's even more irritated than before.

But before I had time to blink, Cartman jumps on top of me, pinning me to the couch with each of my wrists in his hands, our legs intertwined. Kenny stands up and watch's Cartman fiercely hold me down on the couch. I can feel his warm breath on my face making me heat up. I struggle to break his grip but stop as he leans his face closer to mine, nose to nose. I could count ever eyelash, if I wanted to. Then he speaks in a deep dark un-Cartman like voice.

"You don't know me Kyle. You don't know anything."

I couldn't help but shiver. I can feel my pants getting tight as each breathe his makes hits my face, my body goes limp. Why is this happening to me? And now of all times? Cartman's eyes search me up and down while my eyes stay focused on his brown gleaming orbs. His eyes return the gaze back at me, his grip on my wrists soften and so does his eyes, why? I didn't want to blink, I slowly let my gaze go downward to look at our intertwined legs and my bulge slowly forming. Cartman's gaze follows mine. At the same time we both look back at one another speechless. So many questions roaming my mind. What do I do? What is happening? What does this mean? Why? Cartman's face shades a bit of light pink and I can feel my face on fire,

"God Fat-ass get off of him! Your body heat is killing him! You're turning his face red!"

Almost instantly we both look back at a forgotten Kenny, wide smile spread across his face. Slowly Cartman gets off from on top of me and swiftly walks into the kitchen without another word.

"Kyle if you want, you can stay at my house. I know it's not the best place to stay but your good o'l friend Kenny is here for ya!"

Kenny smiles at me putting his hands on his hips like a wannabe super hero.

"Thanks Ken, It would be fine if I stay at your place tonight."

Kenny gives me a seductive grin.

"Want to fuck then?" He laughs playfully. "I'm kidding…unless you want too?"

I roll my eyes at his 'friendly gesture'.

"No Kenny, not interested dude."

He walks over to me and helps me off the couch.

"Your lost."

He casually shrugs as we leave through the front door. What was that all about earlier? What the fuck came over me? Did I show weakness to Cartman, what the fuck? I've never been so confused in my life. Maybe…maybe I'm putting too much thought into this. Maybe it's the cold? I'm probably getting sick…yeah that's got to be it.

"You alright Kyle?"

Kenny brings be out of my own thoughts to see his concerned face.

"Oh, Um, should…should we have said goodbye to Cartman?"

He shrugs "Nah, he got what he wanted right? For us to get the fuck out of his house remember?"

"Oh yea, your right Ken. Never mind then."

I smiled at him as we walked in silence.

I wonder what my parents are doing. Probably still arguing about my future, well in mom's case how I'm not like Ike. I need a day off from all this god damn bullshit at my house. It's a good thing I'm going to Kenny's. Maybe I can at least get some peace…maybe. The deal at Cartman's house is still on my mind, but I'm pretty sure its all in my head…probably. It was his fat-ass on top of me…well he's not 'fat' anymore. It was his body heat, it must be, but that doesn't explain why I was getting a…..boner. Maybe my pants were just a bit too tight and that was causing friction in that area…Yea that's got to be it…

Kenny breaks my thoughts with a cough before he speaks to me.

"I've been meaning to ask this but where is your hat?"

I look down at the ground before I speak.

"Its…at home.. I figured I wasn't going anywhere today so I decided not to wear it." I lightly laugh to myself "Obviously that was a bad idea; it's so fucking cold today."

Kenny chuckles " I think you look good without your hat, well now that you fixed your hair since back when we was in elementary school. You should leave the hat sometimes. Maybe you could pick up some chicks."

"Kenny I'm not looking for a relationship unlike you."

He laughs at my comment "I know Kyle, can't you take a joke?"

I can't help but laugh at Kenny's silliness. If Kenny wasn't always chasing after girls so much he could probably find a nice girl and be happy with her. Heck! Maybe even marry her if he was lucky enough. I'm really glad I have a friend like Kenny; he's the time of guy who could make you smile even when you're having a shitty day. But right now I just want to forget everything and worry about it tomorrow. I really need a break from…well…everything.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8-A crazy pervert and dreams

**Authors note: I just wanted to say thank you to all my readers out there for your support in my Fanfiction. :D After I experimented with my first one "Good Jew gone Bad" I figured why not write another one but without the rushing, small chapters long storyline, that's what I like in a story. And because of your guy's support and your awesome reviews I have been receiving I've been continuing on with this story. Its's because of you guy's I continue writing. (Most of my ideas come to me when I'm in the shower.) And I'm just thankful of your support. :D It makes me really happy to know that people like what I make. :3 I hope you continue on loving me 3 and continue with the reviews please, I love reading them. :D 3**

**WARNING: There is a little hint of K2 in this chapter but don't worry it's not super serious, it's just Kenny being his ol' self. But for you K2 fans who might be reading this, consider this a little chunk just for you. :D **

Staying at Kenny's is fun but also difficult for me. I know he doesn't have much with being the poor kid; I can't help but feel sorry for him. His parents are drug addicts and alcoholics with three children, Kenny being the middle son. Half of the time his parents are not even home. Kenny tries to get them to stop and keep his family together but it doesn't always work as planned. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors but I'm sure its not a good thing…usually. I also know Kenny's family doesn't get enough food that they need because of them being so poor. And apparently Kenny 'can't die' and when he does die no one remembers it. I'm not sure if it's true or not but I decided to believe him, sometimes I think all this mayhem at his house is making him go insane, but that's just my opinion…my speculation…

"Hey Kyle, I was wondering"

Kenny states as he looks away from his porno magazine and looks at me laying on his bed staring blankly at the ceiling above me.

"Why were you lying out in the middle of the woods? And don't say 'it's nothing' tell me the truth and exactly the truth."

I sigh to myself remembering exactly why I left home and fell asleep in the middle of the frozen woods. Honestly I don't want to talk about it, brings up bad memories. I look over at Kenny and see his blue eyes staring back into my green ones, they looked concerned.

"Look Ken, it's not that I don't trust you or anything but, I'd rather not talk about it. It brings up bad memories of the past. "

"So, it was that bad huh?"

"Yeah, it was…I guess."

I turn back and continue to stare at the ceiling.

"Was it your mom?" Kenny asks casually as I shrink into my shoulders at the mentioning of my mother.

"Kenny please just drop it."

I pick up a magazine next to me and toss it toward his direction which he skillfully doges.

"I guess I hit a nerve." He says playfully as he goes back to reading his magazine.

Silence continues for about fifteen minutes but Kenny breaks it with a small chuckle.

"By the way, what was up with you at the Fat-ass's place? You was acting strangely, oh and your welcome with the save."

I almost choke on my breath, I kind of hoped he forgot that but I guess not.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about Kenny…"

I pretend I already forgot what happened.

Kenny scoffs at my answer "You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about Kyle. How you said Cartman had 'pretty eyes', also the face you was gaining a boner while he was on top of you."

Damn he's very observant, how could he have seen that? Well, maybe because I may have had it while on the way here I suppose…

I shrug "Ken, I was out in the cold for who knows how long without my hat so the cold probable got to my brain cells making them dysfunction, and my pants were tight as they were without the fat-ass on top of me, and with him on me wasn't making it any better because it just caused more friction in that area." I remark back.

Kenny nods his head "Huh, never thought of it that way."

He throws his magazine to the side, gets up and walks over to the bed side. I glance over to him a little bit confused. Slowly Kenny gets on top of me and grips my hips.

I grab his wrists in a hassle "Kenny what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

He smiles his usual Chester cat smile at me "An experiment Kyle, I'm going to test a theory I have."

His fingers slowly slither to my zipper which I try to stop him.

"Kenny what the fuck? This isn't funny. This is a joke right?"

He doesn't listen, instead he finds some clothes on his bed and ties my wrists together which I struggle to keep him from doing so but fail miserably.

"Seriously Kenny this isn't funny!"

His blues eyes looked hungry as he looked at my confined hands.

"But Kyle it's hilarious." He says in a seductive tone.

Kenny can't be serious can he? This has to be a joke right? If not he's going to raped me!

Slowly Kenny unbuttons my pants and unzips my jacket. He takes my jacket and throws it to the side as his cold hands work their way up my shirt I had underneath my jacket. This was a bad idea, I should have gone home and faced the music. I don't like Kenny being this way, not at all! I can feel Kenny's cold fingers rub my nipple and I couldn't help but gasp at the cold. I can feel my pants slowly falling off y legs as he pulls them off.

"K-Kenny, please stop, I don't want this!"

He smiles and leans closer to my ear and whispers" I gotcha, I fooled you~"

Quickly he gets off of me and smiles at his handy work, a worked up Jew boy.

I of coarse yell at him "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR ASSHOLE!? I THOUGH YOU WERE GOING TO FUCKING RAPE ME!"

He laughs at my anger "That was a test! I wanted to see what you were into~ and did you WANT me to rape you? If so I will continue where I ended.

'The FUCK Kenny! A test! And NO don't continue!"

He unties my wrists and I punch him so hard he bleeds.

"Ouch! I guess I did kind of deserve that."

"You didn't 'kind of' deserve it you straight up deserved it!"

"Well at least I found out some stuff about you thanks to that."

"WHAT?" I say as I cross my arms.

"That 1. You're gay. 2. You like to be seductively taken over. So what you said earlier about the 'friction thing' is false." He finishes smiling.

Did he say what I think he said? Can he really tell all that from his dumb act? What makes him think I like that anyway? And my friction theory isn't false it's true…right?

"Kenny what makes you think all that?"

"Well 1. You still have your pants down. 2. You gasped at my touch on your nipple, which is a sensitive spot for males. 3. You didn't deny it.

I quickly pull up my pants up as he finished "You must be crazy Ken, I don't understand your logic."

He chuckles "That's because there I so logic, I just know."  
I roll my eyes at him and turn on my side away from him "I'm tired of you not making any sense so I'm going to bed."

Kenny yawns and I can feel him jump into the bed with me.

"Shall we spoon my dear" He purrs into my ear.

"Fuck off Kenny. I'm done with your games."

"How about I jack you off instead?"

"God Kenny really? Just go to sleep."

"I'm just fucking with you man."

I sigh "I know...it's just the way you do it is…creepy."

"That's why I do it Kyle~"

We both laugh and close my eyes. I've been sleepy al lot lately. Maybe all this stress I've been going though caused me to sleep, that and all those sleepless nights at home then go to school the next morning. Thankfully I can sleep in and maybe it'll be fine, that's what I expect anyway.

My mind drifts off into a dream, I haven't had a dream in a while, it's a nice change, though this dreams seems disturbed. My body was floating in a black atmosphere and I was alone, so I thought. I hear someone's voice call my name and out of instinct I try to find its source. The voice is too muted for me to decipher who it might belong to. I can't see anything but black everywhere and I start to feel scared and panicked, so I start to run forward not knowing where I'm going, my legs just taking me to where ever they take me, I have no control over the, anymore. The voice seemed to get further and further with each stop I take, then I couldn't feel the ground anymore, I was falling, I don't know how I was but it was happening. I felt something grab my wrist and I dangled. The darkness surrounding me faded and my surroundings changed. I was on a Cliffside and a frozen lake was down below a couple feet. I look up to see a faded figure holding on desperately on my wrist as I dangle off the cliff, I can barely see. Then my savior pulls me up and into his arms, holding me tightly. I could tell he was a bigger guy than me based on his figure, tall, buff, and a little bit over average weight, but what was I doing hanging on the side of a cliff? Slowly my blurred vision becomes clear and I take a look at my savior, do my eyes play tricks on me or what I'm seeing is true, my savior was no other than Cartman. His face was red and wet with tears, this must be a mistake, Cartman wouldn't cry over me, not ever in his life! My arms move on their own as they wrap around his neck, I have no control over my body anymore. My eyes also flow with tears as we embrace each other. What the fuck am I doing?! Slowly my lips move closer and closer to his. No stop! What am I doing!?

I wake up gasping for air the next morning, feeling really sweaty and confused. Kenny gets startled and falls off the bed and hits the floor. I quickly size up the room, making sure that I'm back to reality before cupping my face in my palms.

Kenny gets up and looks at me confused "Dude? Are you all right? Bad dream?"

I don't answer him, I just nod my head in response which Kenny understands and tosses me my jacket which I gladly put on. What the fuck kind of dream was that? And the sad part is I'm not scared or worried about this, I'm something else! I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as Kenny puts a hand on my forehead.

"Kyle you sure your feeling alright? Your face is really red."

I shake Kenny's hand off and managed to put on a face smile on my face.

"It was just a bed dream Kenny, I'm feeling fine don't worry."

I chuckle softly to myself making it seem like it was nothing, and it IS nothing. Which of course Kenny just shrugs at me.

"Do you want to steal some of Cartman's breakfast Kyle?"

That name makes my back shiver.

"N-no Kenny, I think I might see if Stan is home and get some breakfast there, he wouldn't mind."

He smiles "Yeah, true, but making the fat-ass mad is really fun."

Grabbing his parka and making it as tight he could get it he rushes out the door. How is making someone mad fun? Maybe pestering him till he gets really mad…okay, making Cartman mad IS fun.

I throw the blankets off of me and slip my shoes on; hopefully Stan's parents won't mind me there this early. It is early isn't it? I look around Kenny's room for a clock and noticed a broken one on the floor. I guess I will just have to wait and see then. Unlike Kenny I don't rush out the door, I casually walk out of his room and close the door behind me as I head toward the front door to leave. I'm guessing its early in the morning because no activity is in the house so far. My nimble fingers grip the handle and slowly open the door, letting the cold welcome me.

**Yeah I know this chapter was a little short but I feel proud of it :D. I hope you really like this chapter~! Please send a review of what you think about it and maybe what you think should happen in the next chapter *0*. You guy's inspire me to write so why not give me any suggestions? I won't mind at all :D**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9-BFF almost like old times

"Stan are you home?"

I slowly push open the front door of the Marsh house, letting it squeak open. It's unusual for Stan's front door to be unlocked. The living room was completely empty, not a soul in site, not a sound to be heard. I take my first steps inside, making sure not to make a sound, and close the door behind me. Stan's parents were supposed to be gone for the weekend, so Stan had the house to himself. His sister, Shelly, had raised enough money to leave South Park and live with her boyfriend. At first Stan was ecstatic she was gone, but after a couple of days he began to miss having he older sister around. I personally wouldn't understand because I never had any older siblings, but I'm guessing it was tough to cope in Stan's case. I bet secretly he wishes Shelly was still here. Even I sometimes wish my brother Ike was still here, but recently I've been wishing he wasn't my brother. It's wrong to wish that, this I know, having a brother is great but it has its downfalls. So I guess in some cases I could understand my super best friend.

"Stan are you home?"

I really don't want to intrude Stan's house without permission but it's better than going home. Which I will have to go home later tonight, got to face the music soon.

Slowly I make my way up the stairs but come to a halt as I hear movement coming from beyond the stairs in the rooms above. That must be Stan in his room, sleeping probably. Feeling a little safer I steadily make my way up the rest of the way and toward Stan's room. The door was peaked open slightly and movement can be detected from the other side. Casually I slowly open the door to see Stan's naked ass on the floor before me. I can't help but turn a bit pink and look away. I know when Stan gets drunk he does the weirdest shit but this is one thing I DON'T want to see, my super best friends naked ass on the floor. I turn back to look at Stan's sleeping figure; blankets were spread everywhere but not covering his ass. I sigh to myself as I knelt down next to my friend's naked ass self. Gently I shook him to wake him up.

"Stan, Hey Stan, wake up please."

I shook him harder.

"Stan wake up"

Stan slaps away my hands and turns and blinks his tiresome eyes at me.

"Kyle? What are you doing? Don't you know what time it is?"

I glance up at his digital clock to see it read: 5:45 am. I feel bad for the intrusion and for waking him up early in the morning.

"It's early I know but Stan I really need to talk to you. It's important."

He groans "Can't it wait tomorrow Kyle?"

"No it can't wait. Did you not hear me say it's important?"

He sights and slowly sits up exposing his clearly naked body; again I look away from him.

"How the fuck did I get naked?"

I shrug as he walks over to his dresser and quickly drags out some clothes to put over his naked body.

"So Kyle, what is so important that you had to wake me up to a major hangover?"

I turn back to face him and see he's wearing pants now, thank god I don't have to talk to him naked.

I sigh "It's my mom again..."

He groans as he takes a seat on his bedside.

"Great, what did she do THIS time Kyle?"

I can tell Stan's acting like a dick, which gets me irritated.

"I'm not going to tell you if you're going to act like that Stan."

He sighs irritably "Look Kyle, I'm sorry. I'm just tired; it's early in the morning. And I have a raging hangover; I'm not going to be a ball of sunshine right now. I have been having problems too."

"Look Stan, all I'm asking is for you to listen okay? You don't have to do anything just listen to me."

He irritably pinches the bridge of his nose "okay, alright Kyle, I'm listening."

I sigh and decided to take a seat next to him as I get ready to express my problems.

"Well Stan you see, ever since Ike went to college at a young age, my mother has done nothing but brag about Ike's success and how she' so proud of him."

I take a deep breath before continuing.

"I'm proud of him too, we all are but after a while things took a turn…"

Stan nodded "What kind of turn?"

I bring my gaze toward the floor and stare at it intently "She started saying that I should be like Ike, be more like Ike, and take after Ike etc."

Stan places a hand on my shoulder "That's got to be tough to deal with…"

I nod "Then she would say things like: 'Why can't you be like your younger brother Ike?' Eventually my Dad saw how this was affecting me. I told him that I don't really want to be what mom expects me to be, but obviously I don't have any choice in the matter. Then he decided to take matters in his hands and confront my mom about this, she didn't like it at all. So now every night I hear them fighting and it's my entire fault."

As I finished I cupped my face in to my hands and made little whimpering noises.

Stan pats me on the back reassuringly "Awe, I'm sorry Kyle, but I don't know how to help you. I wish I could."

I wipe away some of the tears in my eyes "Its okay Stan, I didn't expect you to help. I don't think anyone can. I just wanted to tell you, I mean after all you are my super best friend Stan."

Stan nods but turns a bit green.

"Stan are yo-"

Before I could finish my sentence Stan throws up all over me. "AGH! THAT FUCKING SICK STAN!"

He wipes away the remaining puke on his face before apologizing "Sorry dude, hangover remember?"

Before I could replay we heard loud banging on the front door. Shit! Is it my mother? How did she know where to find me?

"STAN MARSH! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! COME OUT!"

To my relief it wasn't my mother, it was a guy's voice, sounds familiar.

Stan quickly jumps off the bed in a hustle "Oh Shit!"

Out of confusion I stand up with him "Oh shit what Stan?"

Quickly he grabs a coat, shirt, and his hat and turns to face me "I just remembered why I was naked Kyle! I had sex with Tokens girlfriend when I was drunk off my ass last night!"

"What?! You slept with Nicole?! But Stan that blows your chances with getting back with Wendy!"

The knocks on the door get louder "STAN COME OUT AND FACE ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Stan quickly turns away and slips on his shoes. "That's why she can never know Kyle…Can you do that for me?"

Astonished I walked up to Stan and grab his shoulders "What?! You want me to lie? Stan you know how much I hate to lie!"

"I know but you got to do this for me please!"

"But Stan I-"

"PLEASE KYLE…I'm begging you."

I really hate to lie but I also don't want to let my best friend down. I'm going to have to make a choice…

"Ugh. Okay! Fine.."

Stan smiles at me and brings us to a hug, making the puke on my jacket squish on both of us.

"Thanks Kyle, I'm going to make it up to you, I promise."

With that he dashes out his room and heads to the front door. I can hear Tokens pissed off tone as I too make my way to the front door.

"YOU FINNALLY DECIDED TO NOT BE A PUSSY HUH?!"

"Look Token I know your mad but let me explain-"

I make my way down the Stairs and see both boys are standing outside.

"No marsh, no explaining, I'm going to just kick your sorry ass!"

"Token please-"

Token deals deadly blows to Stan's face making him fumble backwards.

Out of reaction I freak out "Oh My God Stan! Are you alright!?"

Stan wipes the blood away with his arm and continues to take to the very pissed off Token black. "It wasn't me who asked for her to come with me to my house.

Again Stan takes another blow to the face from token "Bull shit Marsh! How else would you town got together last night!"

Stan stumbles a bit before regaining his balance "She asked me to go to my house because you was somewhere in a corner last night with a whole bunch of other girls, you were drunk Token and so was Nicole and I …we didn't know what we were doing!"

Token again unleashes a mighty blow but this time Stan doges and Token lands on his hand and knees "No way. She…she wouldn't have…I don't remember any girls…"

Stan sighs and offers his hand to him "Trust me, I know how you feel. Here let me help you up…"

Token glances at Stan's offered hand debating wither or not to take it. He sighs and takes Stan's hand and he helps Token up.

"Do you marsh?" He looks at Stan with a raised eyebrow "Do you really?"

Stan nods "Mentally and physically" then he touches the spot where Token hit him earlier.

Token chuckles "Sorry about messing your face…but you do deserve it"

Stan smiles "I did deserve it. For more than one reason…"

And with that Stan and Token shake hands as a truce. I stood in the door way just gapping at the two of them. I didn't think Stan would be so calm after all this shit he's been though. It must be his hangover. And before I know it Stan throws up chunks all over Token.

"ACK! DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK!?" Token jumps back looking at Stan discriminatingly as Stan wipes away the vomit from his face "Sorry…hangover."

"Great now I HAVE to get s new shirt and take a shower! God Stan that is FUCKING GROSS!"

I couldn't help but laugh at Token. He's a nice straight forward gut but he has his moments where he can be a total dick.

"I guess I better go clean up now, bye Stan."

"Bye Token."

As Stan says his good bye, Token gets into his car he parked in front of the Marsh house and drives away.

"That turned out better than planned…"

Stan turns towards me with a goofy grin on his face. "I'm sorry to do this Kyle but I have to clean the house and myself before my parents come home today"

Quickly I frown at him "You're not serious are you? I can help clean up Stan. You don't need to do it all on your own."

He smiles "Okay you can help clean up."

I return the smile and head inside with him behind me. This has been a very 'enthusiastic' start of my day if I do say so myself.

After hours of hard work and clean up Stan and I managed to get his house back to the way it was before he got wasted. "For one guy Stan, you sure make a big mess."

He chuckles at my statement "At least I'm not as bad as some people."

I glance over at the clock and it read 10:45 AM. My stomach growls and I remember another reason whi I came here.

"Uh Stan, do you think we could eat something?"

He glances at the clock in the living room too "Yeah sure, how about something simple like cereal for lunch since we both didn't have any breakfast?"

I shrug "Good enough for me." Honestly I just want something to eat.

As Stan gets off the couch I take the privilege to take over the TV and started to flip though channels. I don't know why I bother with TV; lately it has become nothing more but bullshit over the years. In the kitchen I can hear Stan mumbling to himself.

"God damn it how could I let this happen…"

I hear him set down something on the table, which I take as a clue that he has house breakfast-lunch ready and head toward the kitchen. Stan was sitting at the table pinching the bridge of his nose with two bowls of cereal in front of him.

"God fucking damn it."

He sighs and I take a seat next to him, grabbing pone of the bowls of cereal and beginning to eat.

"You know Kyle, If I didn't get along with Token, I'm sure that it would have gotten worse earlier than just a couple punches to the face. He wouldn't have listened to what I had to say at all, he could have killed me. "Again he sighs to himself and removes his hand from his face. "I just hope Wendy doesn't find out, I know that I and she are not together anymore, but if she finds out I slept with Nicole it could ruin my chances of getting back with Wendy. She would think I'm just using women for sex like Kenny."

I quickly finish off the rest of my cereal before speaking "Stan, Kenny is out friend, that is not something you should say behind his back."

He turns his gaze toward me "But Kyle, it's true and he knows it himself."

I roll my eyes at him "Even if it is true it's still something a friend shouldn't do, even IF he knows."

He turns his gaze to his cereal and sighs "Okay, yeah, you're right Kyle; I shouldn't say stuff about Kenny behind his back…even if it is true…"

And with that Statement he starts to eat his cereal silently. I stare into my empty bowl and let my thoughts wonder. How angry is mom going to get with me this time? Maybe I'll find a way to avoid the subject…or she will just act it was one of my 'phases' I am going through. I sigh as I remember all those times I've avoided the question, changed subject, or just plain took a beating and let her ground me. Remembering all those times wishing Ike was home helping me cope with mom.

I get ready to put my bowl away in the sink but stop when I come to realization about what was roaming in my thoughts. I really depend on others and other things to keep me away from facing my mother. I'm always avoiding her in every way possible. But who can really go up against my mother? Not even my own Father can…

"Hey San, is it all right if I hang with you the rest of the day?"

Stan follows me to the sink to put away his half-finished cereal in the sink.

"Sure dude its fine with me. And I'm sure my parent's won't mind."

I smile at him "Great, want to play PlayStation or something?"

He nudges my shoulder with his playfully "I bet I could beat you."

Playfully I nudge him back "You're on."

At least I'm not home dealing with my mother…at least not now…

**I'm so sorry this took SOOOOO long but I had important things to deal with and I have no weekend to work on it. D: But I finally got it up here for all you adoring people: D I hope you liked this chapter and I am working really hard on the next one. And if you have suggestions please tell me or leave it in the review. :D THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT~**


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